Flip Book

There is a memoir inside of me
but it wants to stay there
it cannot decide if it does not want
to be told, or does not want to be received

the seeds of self doubt were planted
long ago
this self portrait was defaced
long ago

how do these years turn
with ease like a flip book
how many pages turn
before you stop reading

how many moments
would make up each page
so many questions arise
and are filed away

while simply existing

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Bereft 

Looking for
meaning
I am feeling
bereft
of purpose
Devoid
Of feeling
I am meaning
To do something
Important
I am lapsing in
My judgement
Feeling
I am lacking
As a husband
A father
As a self, myself
I am battling in my health
A child’s laugh
Makes me smile
But now my tears
Are all grown up
I’m all grown up
But now my tears
are welling up

I’ve been gone too long
now it’s time to come back home