Not That Boy

I don’t know who I am

I am not that boy

throwing rocks
breaking eggs
casting stones
breaking glass

I am not that boy

with four eyes
fifth-grade disease
missing class
pissing pants

I don’t know who I am
or I simply forgot
or I never even knew
to begin with

what do I know
I don’t know shit

I forgot the face which
I mirror

I broke it
the mirror

just to see how far
the shards would go

I broke it
the mirror

complicated I am

I cracked it
the mirror

how flawed I am

I am not that boy

I am not that man

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Malware

Off-kilter
unbalanced
I feel off-center

maladroit
malcontent
I feel maligned

sleep would be
the only way
to reset my mood

I can’t lie still
my world is spinning
away, out of control

out of sequence
unleashed
I feel out of sync

sardonic
insatiable
unable to say no

a slap in the face
would be a great way
to end this day

I can’t sit still
my head is spinning
away, I can’t hold on