I wish
I was not in
Constant need of something
Something in which I do not need
Some thing
Suicide
I’m not ending this life
just because
I want to see
what the other side
of the stars look like
Leather Skin
Leather skin
I’ve a leather skin
I need it to
keep the world
from seeping in
Its pins its pricks
can’t pierce
this calloused skin
Its bombs its clocks
can’t blow up
this repetition
Let it bleed
let the world bleed
through the heart
of this paper
thin skin
Shift
Shapeshift
sift like sand through
this hourglass-shaped day
sigh when all the smiles tip off-
balance
Unclean Is My Resolve
It’s time
To let go that
Feeling, the one that keeps
Nagging at me, pulling me down
For more
Each time
I wash my hands
Of it, the dirt returns
To show me how unclean is my
Resolve
Opposite
no matter where i am
i always want the opposite
give me a paid vacation
i’d rather work for free
i rise to an orange burst sunrise
i’d rather be asleep
give me a future of possibilities
here i am grasping to childhood dreams
i am seeing the full spectrum of colors
but i am yearning for black and white
i have a home a heart that’s full of motion
yet here i am clinging to a thought of still life
i’ve got stars in my sky
but all i see is black night
mind is always moving backward or forward
so hard to stay in the present
no matter what i am
i always want the opposite
Detaching
Detaching
eyelashes
from my nightmares
Unlatching
my dreams
from reality
Deep Sleep Daydream
Thought I was
all out of words
always on
tip of tongue
spilling out
sprawling forth
wrote them all
on greasy napkins
fancy moleskines
sterile iphones
trusted laptop
palm of hand
and up & down
arms length
thought I was
drained of ideas
always on
verge of decay
spiraling out
forced forward
done it all
on greasy napkins
fancy moleskines
back of hand
up & down
arms length
I found I was suffocating
bottling lightning
strangling stifling
I find myself
shuttling forward
cascading backward
never here nor now
nestled in this moment
I thought I was
clear of this pitfall
long past that shortcoming
thought I was sheltered
when in truth
I was wide-mouthed
catching golf balled-sized
hail between my teeth
I think now
I am the same
as I ever was
no better or no less
I am trapped in a paradigm
a perfect portrait of my past
a deep sleep daydream
of where I want to be
Tiptoeing
To & fro
we go
backward
tiptoeing
into so-so
know-it-all
nothing
befell
everyone
a heavy boulder crisis
in spite of
a life of
comparative degeneration
where to go
when feel low
oh so
dead skin hardened
ready to be picked
& flicked away
listening to
a loud & deafening
lifeline
you can hear it in your chest
feel it overcome
feel it overwhelm
and I can hear
a piercing silence
as the beat is
ripped away
from the drum
nothing left but
suck thumb
head in sand
& struck dumb
it is so lonesome
to be alive
& not laugh
it is so wholesome
to be alive &
not care
listen to the loud
& deafening
lifeline
you can hear it
in your pulse
feel it overcome
feel it overwhelm
Number One
Ideal
I feel
wrapped
in bandages
Numb
I feel
like Number
One
Tingling
in finger tips
I feel pins & needles
holding up my smile
Unreal
I feel
wrapped in
everyday sameness
Caress
I feel
her kiss exploding
through thick ice
Aching are my bones
now I feel tendons
snapping
to become a working god
I feel so many things
but no anesthesiologist
can turn me
OFF
