falling down
from comfort cloud
misdirected missiles
in the form of
fallen feathers
a clusterfuck
of pinwheel emotion
witless
and thrown out
on the street
witnessed
so many dead
and not forgotten
I count my blessings
on my angel’s eyelashes
and toenail clippings
top-heavy,
my angel
misdirected
and
dragging
me
down
I have no new tales to tell
same old soul for sale
I find myself
putting up fences
of rotted wood
& rusted nails
bent to puncture
I self-deflate
waiting for elation
salvation,
sunken very mention
I hallucinated her face
in a deep embrace
with madness
I dreamt my downfall
in a sweat-drenched
5 o’clock shadow
a nightmarish day
sinking the moon in
an anchored lockjaw
I am on a plane,
hijacked
crashing into
your inhibitions
you stole mine,
like bright lights
shining through
my window seat
fear for your life,
so excited at the thought of death
my life is splices,
memories
on a reel-to-reel
splayed,
peeled
for you to feel
my hands are shaking
but I’ve
never
been more calm
at the crash site
survival,
out of question
asphyxiated
in
your descent
I have a confession
to make:
I hate poetry
it’s a struggle
to read
& write just the same
I am not moved
by most
of the poems I read
either there’s no soul,
spirit stripped
from each stanza
like a ghost
rattling Times New Roman chains,
or I just can’t relate
I had a normal childhood,
my parents raised me right
I was never beaten
or raped
or bullied
or put out on the street
so why bother?
why do my words
come out in broken
refrains
probably for the same reason
I wanted to be a journalist,
work for the newspaper
it defies logic
so if you’re reading this
right now
and you want to stop,
and your eyes are glazed over
and you wonder why
you clicked here in the first place,
I completely understand
Do you remember?
the last time
you never wanted more
satisfied completely
with one hit
one kiss
one shot
one fuck
accepting of the skin you wear
instead of trading it
for a glamorous pelt
i think i’d rather be
fresh & bleeding
simply living
tragedy embracing
but
there
is
always
MORE
to
accumulate
consume
inhale
inject
swallow
snort
ejaculate
we are unsatisfied entities
insatiable
in every aspect
if we do not
accept at core
needing more
needing more
needing more
can’t ignore
needing more
needing more
needing more
so sore
needing more
needing more
needing more
who we are at core
needing more
needing more
needing more
it’s internal war
needing more
needing more
needing more
what we are for
do you remember?
