None of the Above

Drinking, happy, or depressed.
Often two out of the three.
Can’t write a poem worth a damn
when none of the above.

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Raving

Grinding my teeth
outside
my comfort zone

moving my body
but
my mind goes faster

attracted to
the attractor magnet

put me on
put me on continuous
shuffle
with your acid beats

those beats put me in a trance
they make me dance
I rarely dance

your ghost whispers in my ear
but I heed no caution

losing myself in a sea of other bodies

do not tell me the appropriate dose
I want to find out for myself

think of how different
this experience would be
without me

the sprinklers are on in the cemetery

Lowered Inhibitions

i wasn’t planning on drinking a six pack tonight
but this poem wasn’t about to write itself
you know, the one about lowering inhibitions
and finding myself at the bottom of a bottle
the one where I write a few lines
find some lightning
and blow my own mind
then wake up with a headache
and the need to piss my very soul out
then try to return to the angel wings of sleep
and beep beep beep — start all over again
you know, the one about being a punctual peter

I Am Not Sorry

This house is my house
I take full responsibility
for the mess
the dirty laundry
the dishes in the sink
the cat turds on the floor
the leaky faucets
the unflushed toilets
the unfinished basement
and the blood on the walls
the paint chipping
the fences leaning
the pets buried in the backyard
the rusted nails sticking out,
drawing the blood of
the unsuspecting,
the cobwebs
and water damage
the creaks in the awnings
the magazines in the attic
and the demon underneath the bed
the loaded gun
the locked doors
and oh god that smell
the fucked-up food-stained carpet
the car up on blocks on the chipped apart driveway
the blown apart mailbox
the air creeping through the gaps in the windows
and what lurks outside at night
the heart beneath the floorboards, still beating.

the ghosts of everyone who’s lived here before.

I am not sorry.