First Shot

I thought
I was bullet
proof until I fired
the first shot bounced off your heart and
stopped mine

Equate

Inad-
equate but I
can button up shirt and
tie paisley colored noose around
my neck

I find myself
grappling w/ possibilities
putting the cart
before realities

strangling myself
w/ dreamwire
before the vision
is ripe

we are living
in a YA novel
commissioned
by Stephen King

this shit is stranger
than Lovecraft
but it’s truer than
the rabbit hole

Some man investigate
morning
then see evening window

drop of wet
moon
winter mouth bloom

thunder dream
make
autumn concrete

still garden while petals rust

how soon shiver light above fall

Wrapped up
in insulin
wool blank and comatose
this pancreatic care package
still life

I been
dealing with this
over twenty five years
my organs aged and fermented
like wine

No cure
in sight, besides
vision is not so sharp
calluses on fingers, I am
hardened

Wrap me
up in million
butterfly kiss bandaids
tears are not measured in drops of
blood drawn

High, low
I react to
chemical reaction
roller coaster is not exact
science

Confused
incoherent
inconclusive at core
orange juice savior come stop these sweats
and shakes

Oh sweet
oblivion
come sweep me off my feet
my head becomes too heavy to
shoulder

Needle
tip of iceberg
only so much soul seeps
Through with this, hands thrown up to sky severed

But I
would rather live
with this than live without
don’t want to succumb to a lack
of ease