Deep Sleep Daydream

Thought I was
all out of words
always on
tip of tongue
spilling out
sprawling forth
wrote them all
on greasy napkins
fancy moleskines
sterile iphones
trusted laptop
palm of hand
and up & down
arms length

thought I was
drained of ideas
always on
verge of decay
spiraling out
forced forward
done it all
on greasy napkins
fancy moleskines
back of hand
up & down
arms length

I found I was suffocating
bottling lightning
strangling stifling
I find myself
shuttling forward
cascading backward
never here nor now
nestled in this moment

I thought I was
clear of this pitfall
long past that shortcoming
thought I was sheltered
when in truth
I was wide-mouthed
catching golf balled-sized
hail between my teeth

I think now
I am the same
as I ever was
no better or no less
I am trapped in a paradigm
a perfect portrait of my past
a deep sleep daydream
of where I want to be