Filtered water from youth’s fountain
Rather taste straight from the mountain
Life’s divided into minutes
Broken clock, still time to count ten
Can’t tell if that’s a yes or no
Bags are packed, don’t know where to go
Enough coin for tollbooth and eyes
An exercise in goes to show
It’s far too late to switch back now
Mouth agape, mind wondering how
Brought a spoon but these paths do fork
Back country backlash needs a plow
Have the hubris but not the heart
Head is jaded, but spirit smart
Duplicate prayers for a fresh start
Duplicate prayers for a fresh start
Written for dVerse Poets Pub’s Rubaiyat Quatrain Form for All.
FM Ghost 
“can’t tell if that’s a yes or no” is the theme of all this, it emits such vibes of uncertainly.
i love the hubris but not heart line the best
care for those age’d until the end
Brought a spoon but the paths fork. That line has to be sung someday. Excellente verse. I enjoyed it very much.
I believe in fresh starts, and I believe in second chances. Your poem underlines this theme quite well, and utilizes the structural constraints of the rubaiyat quatrain to great effect.
“An exercise in goes to show” … Nice.
This is great, Steve. I really like the first stanza.
http://lkkolp.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/longing-for-you/
“Brought a spoon for these paths do fork” I like open a new path or digging your way out the other. well done.
you capture the mixed emotions of a fresh start very well…the packed bags but then the uneasiness..not quite sure what “tools” the new way needs, how to handle things..but then the repeated last line wraps it up just perfectly..nice
nice…well spun…i really like the first two lines…i have actually drank straight from the mountain a few times in life…the last stanza is really tight as well….got to have that head and heart together though if we gonna get anywhere….
nice rhythm to your poem… change is hard
love it, love the last line repeated…
Memorable use of the form
Totally sold on the rhymes in the first stanza (GO Poet!) and yes, the spoon to fork was the finishing blow for me as well. Fantastic play with the form, in a voice as fierce as always! And, as long as spirit is smart, that jaded heart can heal…wicked weave!
Well like the good poet you are, you changed the form from ABAA to AABA but carried through with the quatrains resounding in a poet on poetry via a traveling metaphor. Exceptionally well done..and uniquely yours.
OK forgive me – I had a brain lapse. Of course you got the rhyme scheme right and I should have known it after having read the article and a dozen other poems and then moved sideways and thought the B line was second. Forgive an old lady whose brain is not entirely in tact these days.