Charcoal Skin

life is spinning spiral downward
at the bottom looking up at mother
wind is twisting bitter in my face
mind is crushing wall of pain
fetal trauma hit my head inside the womb
father’s fist directs me toward the sky
burning paper pencil No. 2
if I was first would I find hope

suicide god is walking in my head
addiction god is choosing left or right
when I can’t fix what I have spent
when I can’t fake what I can’t hide

this burden on your bleeding shoulders
this failure in your name regret
this speck of black in whitened eye
this broken limb on family tree

self-destruction brought upon by self infliction
burning trash pressed inside the landfill gates
leaves me only painful question
if god was on my side would I succeed
babysitting me small child
smell of potpourri and fresh-baked brownies
mail runs with grandpa every day
intoxication banging on the window

burning leaves me only blisters, charcoal skin

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Empty Chair

I keep staring
at your empty chair
I remember you sat
right across from me
I keep wishing
you would just
materialize
right in front of me

I can’t make it
through one more night like this
one more bereft of dreams
I can’t take
another day like this
Why are you apart from me?

I keep staring
in this empty mirror
hoping I too
will disappear
I’ll keep staring
at this empty chair
hoping you
will reappear.

Addict

The boy with his eyes sewn shut turns to the girl
and asks, Why are you crying?
I am so blind, but I can still hear the discomfort
in the tone of your voice.

Fool, you cannot see where you went wrong
that one morning when you left me in the cold?

No, but I heard your troubled footsteps
as you inched further away from me.

I’m sorry
Why did you leave me
I said I’m sorry
in the cold?
But I’m sorry
Why did I trust you?
Said I’m sorry
Never again

The boy with two things turns to the girl with none
and she confronts him:
What if you were forced to choose between
these things you so much love?

Fool, you cannot make choices like that in this life –
I just don’t think I could.

No, but what if you were to lose both things at once
and were left with nothing at all?

I’m sorry
Your addiction
I said I’m sorry
is all you care of
But I’m sorry
You’re in your own world
Said I’m sorry
and I can’t stay there

So now it’s over
So now your world ends
So now your body dies
So now your soul goes on

So you must live with this.

Spine

It enters my mind
deposits in my spine
bony crooked line
learning to unwind
don’t break your back
lifting everybody’s weight
all else aside, do you have a spine?

A slap in the face
Dust is growing thick on things
Happiness is truth. 

Monument

Three minutes of our life is wasted
how quickly
the ground breaks beneath us
pillars once
monumental turn to dust
like pollen
resinating eye wear
huge pieces
of science plummeting
down upon our heads
cover our ears, we should not hear
this sound: 8.0
we are now shoreline property
we are Noah’s Ark
on the tip of iceberg: Titanic
Exxon’s animals.