Dawn Phenomenon

I remember hiding my toast
underneath the morning post
then promptly blacking out
my world, blank and spotty
as unconsciousness overcame me

a bearded man hovered over me
asking questions I could not answer
then I was on my back
staring at the ceiling inside an ambulance

I was 11 or maybe I was 12
it was my first severe insulin reaction
I caught glimpses in the ER
like bright lights
vomiting and sucking ice chips
later I awoke in a hospital room
I got to watch tv
my folks brought me a McDonald’s hamburger
and I watched the Simpsons

I remember many mornings
Dad waking me, forcing into my hands
a glass of orange juice with sugar stirred in
incoherent, hypoglycemic
cold sweats and overwhelming confusion

most days these days
I am on the other side of spectrum
trade the hypo- for a hyper-
hypodermic needle
pierces my skin when
I feel the sugar in my bones
sometimes I give too much
and am brought back down

there is no balance
no happy medium
this I live with
day in and day out
up and down, this
this I live with

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