Mainlining milk thistle dandelion Zion
Mainlining milk thistle dandelion Zion
Supplementing failing support systems
Supplementing failing support systems
Mainlining Zion, support systems failing
Thistle supplementing dandelion milk
Doubting body’s mechanistic defense
Doubting body’s mechanistic defense
Reevaluating time’s questionable relativity
Reevaluating time’s questionable relativity
Questionable, time’s defense doubting
Reevaluating relativity, body’s mechanistic
Balloon expands to before bursting
Balloon expands to before bursting
To give, how much air is pinched away
To give, how much air is pinched away
How much air, balloon expands to before
Is pinched away, bursting to give
Milk is pinched to give support
Body’s supplementing defense thistle
Systems failing, how questionable time’s
Relativity mainlining mechanistic much
Dandelion bursting before doubting expands
Away balloon air, reevaluating Zion
Posted for dVerse Poets Pub’s FormForAll Paradelles prompt.
FM Ghost 
ha. really like those first two stanzas…it waxes a bit philosophical…and you chose some difficult words and made them work…the systems failing got me humming ground control to major tom… hey i am a sucker for dandelions too so you got me there…not an easy form, def a strong effort sir.
I love the combination of the words “milk thistle dandelion Zion”. They go well together. As Brian notes, you accomplished this form with very difficult language and really made it work. Terrific job!
I like the messages in the beginning of each stanza and combing the words brilliantly…great use of the form..
This seemed to have a melancholy feel to it. Nicely written!
Yes, weeds and a message…but it’s beautiful I think!
OK… it actually looks like you had fun with this; nice twist
This one leaves me thinking deeper than I had at first thought I would. Well done paradelle.
You certainly got us to think with your paradelle. Very interesting to see the very different responses in all the poems.
Strong & creative response to the prompt; which many did not take a shot at; you pulled us off into the abstract poetic ozone, & it sparked lots of line re-readings. Your 4th stanza was strong, & the last 2 lines are killer.
To reevaluate relativity would sure bring thistles..
impressive…both word choice and utilization within this form. I enjoyed the way this flowed.