Prayer Flags

I walked by our old apartment today
where we lived when our son was born

I looked up and saw prayer flags
hanging in the third-floor window
the one that faces East

the sun is out and I’m feeling sentimental
this morning as I walk to the bus stop
I stop and wonder who lives there now

moving backwards in time
thinking of us and tiny him
when things were somehow simpler

I walked by our old apartment today
where we lived when our son was born

I looked up and saw prayer flags
hanging in the third-floor window
the one that faces East

Drawn, Quartered

We lost it up there
in the fire
in the flood
the curse to care
ability to feel
in the canyon
in the cabin
in the board room
in the bedroom
we lost it down there
the feeling
this magic momentary lapse
can’t feel my legs
embrace
her hands, my face
still looking for a reason
looking for a hook
to hang upon all sorrow
looking for IT
the thing to make parts whole

grown man
no kidding
grown mad
afraid to jump
across lily pad gap
finds self pushed
lung collapsed
ladder splintered courage
laughter, limping laughter
leaps and bound
free-falling from a tree house
sharp rocks where grass should pad
broken ambitions
fractures compound
skin discarded cellophane
this joke I am
trying to keep myself in one piece
drawn and quartered
in all directions
like painted sun rays
in one place
one pretty canvas
what a bullshit joke
this vitriol we spit
reserved for within
pointed dagger handles
not happy with
not happy with what’s inside
so we venture out
try to color out-
side carryout boxes

we lost it up there
somewhere
in the rafters
on the rooftop
crack the sidewalk
walking limp ropes
the act to breathe
the risk to fall
the chance to be anybody
at all but what we bleed
we lost it over there
in the field of discontent
bored ideas
and failed feelings
dug a ditch to bury truth’s body
shot through the head gangland
gagged and bound to come out

somewhere along the way
learning to love this
rotting carcass
caricature of carving
nature’s knife
cuts deep
a lot to live up to
cracked and absorbed
we are a porous lot
accumulating
so afraid to give
terrified to accept

we lost it up there
the will to live

Meet Me at…

Meet me after three drinks
Meet me at disaster
Meet me at 9 of Cups
Meet me at when are you going
to do something with your life
Meet me at your bottommost rock
Meet me at binge
Meet me at your very worst
Meet me at your most distracted
Meet me at the crossroads
of something important

Additives

In need of
courage
that is not
liquid
or otherwise
red or blue

addictive
in search of
additives

mind & heart
street racing
on residential roads
looking for a median
or a shoulder
to pull over

desperate
in need of
inspiration
without side effects

hungry
quite simply
feeding jagged teeth

in need of all things
to placate
voracious void